Howdy from the country. Not much happening out here these days. We've been sitting here on the porch watching the little birds chase the crows while we were waiting for some excitement and adventure. I should buy some more machinery.
Machinery has a way of making a boring day into a day of excitement and high adventure. There is nothing quite like a hydraulic hose breaking and spraying everything in sight with hot hydraulic fluid while you watch dollar signs float off into space.
A mower conditioner that comes loose on a tight corner is also a great adventure. It falls off the tractor and begins to destroy hoses, kink pipes and spray hot hydraulic fluid up and down your back, while you dance around trying to jam down the clutch, slam on the brakes and get the PTO shut off. That is only the beginning of a fun day of digging out, jacking up, unhooking, running to town for a multitude of parts, and putting it all back together again in somewhat of an imitation of the original product. Then you still have to buy more hydraulic fluid and finish cutting the rest of the hayfield (if there hasn’t been a rainstorm in the middle of all this).
An old tractor is a malevolent piece of machinery that can also cause great messadventures. My tractor has several malfunctions I believe it can turn on and off at will. Usually this happens with fifteen bales of hay left to pick up and a lightning and thunderstorm on its way to visit. The Tractor will just up and quit. This “up and quit” has a multitude of possible causes: Is it out of gas? Is it the wiring problem that I haven’t had the time (or money) to fix since the last time it just up and quit? Or maybe it is the carburetor problem? How about the battery?
The cure for these problems is to use the cell phone to call the wife and send her for gas, jiggle the wiring, take off and reinstall the battery cables and tap on the carburetor. I know the real cure is to stand back and throw money at it (while the mechanic works on it) but then what would we do for excitement? That and because I don’t have any extra money to throw at it is why I am willing to put up with a few ideosyncracies, (some of which belong to the tractor).
If the tractor itself can’t come up with something to slow down progress it will help another piece of machinery do it. The Baler has been known to play several little tricks in conjunction with The Tractor. There is a little bolt that ties the flywheel to the plunger arm that is made to break away if there is too much pressure in the feeding of the hay. On an older baler the flywheel bearing is usually a little worn and one good bang can usually break the bolt. It is hard to know just how much to tighten the bolt.
The main trick of The Baler, though, is to stop tying hay bales. The most complicated piece of machinery on earth is the knotter on an old baler. How does that thing work, anyway? I'll be rolling along in 3rd gear with the baler thumping and banging and look back and see these long green worms lying in place of the bales I am supposed to be making.
STOP!
Go back and see if there is enough string. Check to see if you can tie the bale that is in the channel right now, check to see if the string got wound the wrong way in the knotter. Cut any string out of place and bale some more. Check to see if you can tie that bale. Dink with knotter some more and go bale some more. See if you can tie that bale. Repeat the process about seven times and then go get the neighbor and see if he can figure out what is wrong. One day a spring was missing. Where did it go? I assume little green men ran off with it. It is a John Deere, you know.
By now you must get the picture. Even though life out here in the country is so gentle, laid back and simple - It has its moments of intense fear and doubt besides sheer terror and the experience of seeing hundred dollar bills flying away faster than a hayfield can manufacture them (which isn't very fast.)
Other than that, its been quiet as we sit here waiting for the next exciting frost........
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